We're Different, Hated
by Kasai-no-Kitsune
Summary: AU, oneshot ::If his life was meaningless, if it was just going to be taken, then he wanted his life to end on his terms, not someone else's.:: DARK FIC! Character death & suicide, yaoi, AkuRoku, mentions of Riku/Sora. PWP


_Disclaimer: _I don't like plot holes. And Kingdom Hearts is in possession of it's own plot holes big enough to rival seven Grand Canyons combined. Therefore, I think we can be assured that I do not own it.

_Author's Notes: _... Uwaaah, I'm scared. This is my, what, third lemon? As for the others, you won't get to see them, ha! Because they don't count. They're hideous. One of them is written on binder paper, shoved away in my closet, never to see the light of day again, and the other will either be rewritten soon or deleted. Because I never want to look at it's ugliness again.

So anyway, funny thing about this. I have no idea where it came from. It just sort of gushed out, like water from a water bottle. I wrote this in one sitting when I should have been finishing the mountain of other oneshots I need to finish, so sue me. And please, please, please don't flame. You're lucky I'm giving this to you at all. It might not have been a lemon. When I started writing this, I was already ashamed at it's angsty-ness, but then it started morphing into a lemon, which made me get off the computer for a while and curl up in the dark of my room with my iPod until I could get mad enough at myself to come back and crank this thingy out. So lucky you! (Or maybe not...)

Weird incident that happened just before I started writing the graphic part of this:

Mom: (eating dinner) Hey, this chicken tastes really lemony today.

Me: (giggles madly)

Mom: (gives me a weird look)

Me: Oh nothing, nothing. (eats chicken) Hey, it does taste like lemons. I like lemons.

_Song Choice: _"So I Thought" by Flyleaf (I listened to that song so much while writing this that it's practically the suicide song to me now, ha.)

* * *

Axel's apartment was the perfect setting. It was tiny, not well-lit, and stock-piled with sleeping pills, since Axel complained about headaches a lot. It was surreal, like a novel or a movie. It even felt like someone else, not him. It wasn't Roxas walking in and sitting down on the bed, and it wasn't Axel rooting through his bathroom cabinets for the precious pills. Whoever they were, neither Axel nor Roxas envied them. 

"Did you have to bring that?" Axel asked bitterly, two unopened bottles in his hands. Roxas's fist clenched a little harder around the newspaper article cutout in his hand.

"Of course." he replied, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It's all I have left of him, you know, and since he went before us, maybe we'll need some guidance?"

"... Right, sorry." Axel said quietly, sitting down next to the blond, who leaned on his shoulder. "But he was your brother, shouldn't he have left you something? _Anything?_"

Roxas let out a hollow laugh. "Mom burned all of Sora's stuff once he came out and ran away with Riku. Burned it, or threw it away. There wasn't anything to give."

"... Should we get on with this?" Axel asked delicately, his arm snaking around Roxas's waist. Roxas could sense the other question buried inside: _"Do you really want to do this?" _Roxas closed his eyes, contemplating. He thought about Axel, amazing, fiery Axel, his soul mate whom he wasn't allowed to love. He thought about Sora, his adorable, innocent brother who'd done nothing to deserve his fate but love the wrong person. His fist unconsciously clenched around the newspaper article as he thought about Sora cornered in an alley, forced to watch his own beloved Riku die, beautiful moonlit skin stained with blood, trying to save him, just before being beaten to death himself. He thought about the boys who committed such a terrible act, those monsters in disguise who were allowed to walk free. He thought about their demon friends, the ones who must have laughed to see Sora's and Riku's blood on their hands. He thought about the rest of the world, who would not only refuse to condemn the murder, but actually outright support it. He tried imagine himself in Sora's position, but hit a mental blockade. He refused to let someone torture him like that. If his life was meaningless, if it was just going to be taken, then he wanted his life to end on his terms, not someone else's.

Roxas's eyes burst open, and in a moment of sure clarity, he nodded fiercely. Axel's arm tightened around his waist.

"Let's go, then." he said solemnly, holding out one of the bottles. Roxas viciously twisted the cap off, the seal breaking with a satisfying snap. The second one opened the same way, and Axel held it up to his lips, a grim smile playing across his mouth. "Bottoms up." he said sardonically. At the same time, both lovers downed a whole bottle of pills each. "Delicious." Axel coughed a little. "Just as yummy as Pepto Bismal. Maybe I should have brought some of that too, just for dessert?"

"Oh, shut up." Roxas smiled lovingly and punched Axel's arm lightly. "Enough with the sarcasm, eh?"

"Well, I have to fit a lifetime's worth of jokes into less than a day!" Axel pretended to be outraged. Roxas laughed genuinely, but it quickly died down.

"... Who do you think will find us?" he asked in a small voice.

"Hmm... Probably my landlord." Axel said contemplatively, tilting his head as if deep in thought. "I'm late on the rent anyway." This pulled another short-lived laugh out of Roxas.

"... And our bodies? What do you think they'll do with us then?" Roxas sounded, for the first time, nervous. It chilled Axel to the bone. The redhead leaned over and kissed his boyfriend's forehead.

"You know, I honestly don't care." he murmured. "Once we're gone, we're gone for good, and I don't give a damn what happens here anymore." Roxas chuckled one more time and kissed him briefly on the lips. Time slowed down then. There was a moment where Roxas's mouth stopped moving, and his lips just rested against Axels' enticingly, inviting him closer. Axel quickly took the bait, pushing Roxas tenderly onto the bed. By this time, Roxas's mouth was open, taking Axel's tongue inside hungrily, urging him to go faster, since their time was limited now, and Roxas wasn't about to waste a second.

Clothes were peeled away like useless outer skins, tossed to the side. The newspaper article, too, now all that remained to remember Riku and Sora, fluttered to the floor, completely forgotten. All that existed was each other, their lips, their skin and the heat they were exchanging. Axel pressed two fingers to the corner of Roxas's mouth, silently asking permission, and Roxas obliged, taking Axel's fingers in his mouth and orally ravishing them. The sight was so arousing that Axel had to look away for fear of coming too soon, choosing instead to occupy his mouth with Roxas's chest. When the fingers were properly lubricated, Axel's hand inched between Roxas's warm thighs, and Roxas mewled encouragement. One hand kneaded Roxas's spine comfortingly, while the other pushed two fingers into the familiar territory. Axel had been there many times before, but no matter how much he revisited it always gave him a hot thrill to feel that fleshy inside. Roxas normally would have let out some noise between pleasure and pain, but pain didn't exist anymore. Now he was just feeling amazing, pushing back down on those fingers.

"Ahh, Axel..." he groaned sensually, rotating his hips a bit. "Come on, _more_..." And Axel indulged, tilting his fingers and shoving them in deeper at a different angle. He tried a few more angles until he struck that sweet spot, that spot that had Roxas arching off the bed with pleasure and yelling Axel's name. It didn't matter who heard their nightly escapades anymore. In fact, maybe Roxas _wanted _the world to hear him scream Axel's name, so the whole damn homophobic world would know that Axel belonged to_ him. _He always had and always would_.  
_

Axel smiled to himself and kept at that spot, abusing it sweetly, drinking in all of Roxas's heated cries. He added another finger to the first two, stretching the flesh. Though he knew Roxas couldn't feel the pain anyway, Axel attached his mouth to Roxas's neck, sucking and nibbling and licking, anything to please the blond. A shudder ran up Roxas's spine in anticipation.

"Oh _god _Axel, enough _teasing_..." he shouted throatily as Axel hit his prostrate a little harder than before. "Please, just come in me..."

That voice was too much of an invitation to pass up. Axel swiped a little more saliva around the boy's entrance, just to be sure he was lubricated enough, before positioning himself above the eagerly trembling body and shoving himself inside.

Though they felt it many, many times before, the feeling was a little different every time. This time it was needy and completely final. It was ecstasy to the highest degree.

"Ah, god, AXEL!" Roxas's throat was starting to rasp from all of the vocals ripped from it. Axel pressed deeper into Roxas at the same angle where he found the boy's prostrate earlier, prompting a scream of delight from the blond underneath him.

"Mm, Roxas..." Axel's voice was so heavy with passion that Roxas could've come right there. He was rapidly approaching that point, come closer with each of Axels' thrusts. White was flashing across his vision, followed by stars exploding and the world spinning backwards.

They were both starting to feel an unpleasant drowsiness, and knew their time was running short. So they moved together more, and nothing but death would stop them. Axel rammed harder and faster into Roxas, completely sheathing himself inside the blond and rocking both their bodies with shallow thrusts, right at Roxas's prostrate. Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel's neck, pressing them flush against each other, nails digging into Axel's back. The inside of Roxas abruptly tightened around Axel's cock, signaling their coming release.

"_Roxas!_" Axel's seed shot into Roxas, filling his hips with liquid warmth.

"_Axel!_" Roxas's load splashed onto their stomachs, and with this climax Axel fell down beside Roxas on the bed. They just laid there, breathing heavily, still pressed against each other, bodies slick and smelly with sweat. Darkness was closing in on them, so before they slipped away, they found each other. Their hands clasped together tightly, and their lips pressed together softly, just simple reassurances that they were going together.

Then darkness overtook them, and their mortal time ended.

Roxas could have sworn that he saw Riku and Sora smiling at them through the darkness from somewhere warm, bright and inviting.

* * *

_Author's Note: _... Please be gentle sir. And PLEASE **review**! You have no idea how afraid I am to be posting this... 


End file.
